Week Six without her, and nearly seven months since I relocated from Southern California to the Pacific Northwest....
Thank you all for your support. Now I must go out and live abundantly, because my sister's greatest gift to me was alerting me that I might also be ill with the rare genetic liver disease. Her and I appear to be part of the 30 people per million.....
My lab result numbers are also "in the range" and until I truly receive a clear diagnosis, I am following the restrictive copper reduced diet. Lisa's autopsy results are still two months aways....her death certificate lists the cause as "presumed Wilson's Disease".... I am living like I am dying...
Because truly we all on that same journey.... Go In Peace.
Love,
Claudia
Claudia
Eulogy for Lisa Amber Elliott Jensen April 13, 2012 ~ Presented by Claudia Lynn Elliott
First Lutheran Church, Ellensburg WA
Hi! I’m Big’ Sis’, Claudia,
Thank you for coming today to celebrate the life of my lil’ sis’, Lisa.
The past month as I’ve considered what stories I would share about us, I tried to remember when we started calling each other, big and lil’, but from the piles of photos, diaries, journals, yearbook notations and assorted “love” notes we wrote each other it seems that is how it always was… And always will be. My lil’ sis died and I am blessed to have known her from the moment she came into my life and until her last breath.
As I began to notify friends and family about her death, interesting stories and sweet reflections flooded my overwhelmed brain and I began to make a lot of lists of information.
And for a few days, I pondered, what would Lisa’s favorite Muppet, Miss Piggy say about Lisa? And I found this quote, “There is no one on the planet to compare with moi.” And I think that holds true for Lisa also, there is no one else on the planet to compare to her.
Today, I would like us all to step back in time with me and follow some of the highlights of the lessons my Lil’ Sis taught me and all of us so very clearly.
Lead or Follow:
My cousin, Gwen, reminded me that as children I was her protector and bodyguard at family gatherings… Lisa wasn’t always a Public Talker, I know, you all are surprised… But Lisa taught me to LEAD. I would take her hand as little girls, answer questions for her, even in Casselton Elementary School I remember her first week of kindergarten I was often called out of class to speak with a teacher to see what Lisa needed…Her and I would go explore and she would FOLLOW.
At some point as young girls, she and I began the lifelong ongoing switch of Leading and Following, I think it might have first happened when we were learning to dance in the living room watching American Bandstand or dancing to mom’s records on the phonograph. I got tired of being the tomboy and told her to lead.
My girlfriend from childhood, Amy, reminded that when lil’ sis and I moved from North Dakota to Wenatchee in 1982 she was jealous of the close bond Lisa and I shared. We appeared to be as cute and naturally beautiful as the popular Laura and Mary on the Little House and the Prairie show. And Amy had wished her and her sister could be as close of friends.
And in middle school and high school I began to follow, I wasn’t the popular kid, I was the nerdy singing dork and Lisa was the beauty princess and model type and as a note I found details she taught me how to bust a move. I followed her lead; she taught me how to put on makeup and how to wear brighter colors that suited my paler skin tone and what shoes to wear with what outfits.
She sometimes pushed me. If I wouldn’t lead, after three years at a different school in Lynden and returning to Wenatchee High, I was pretty lonely, and Lisa instigated my date for my senior prom. When Lisa and Jay meet the following year, I watched her start a new way of leading and following. And I learned early on sometimes Leading and Following means being crafty and being willing to jump onto new paths and push forward to create new opportunities.
When I was enrolled at Wenatchee Valley College, I was determined to leave the family nest so I encouraged her also to get better grades to get into college. But she was so very popular and somehow she taught herself how to sneak around my mom to go out on unapproved dates or attend unapproved parties. You might be surprised to know that although she was Royal Court Candidate for the world renowned Apple Blossom Festival she almost didn’t graduate Wenatchee High School due to attendance issues.
Another lesson she taught me was…
Wherever the journey takes you I am always with you:
So digging thru my memory boxes, another note reminded me of us walking along the railroad tracks searching for a pot of gold as little girls exploring the prairie and farmlands in ND. Except for the twenty three months before she was born and a couple of years in the Davenport ND house, I had always shared a bedroom with her and her stuff. Initially, my memory had thought this phrase began the sad day Lisa and my dad, left me alone in my first apartment in Pullman. I was so terrified of being nineteen and living alone, but I was determined to make it work. But my diary details me waving at them leaving and Lisa yelling out the car window, wherever the journey takes you, I am always with you.
…. And as I struggled to find a way to finance college and stay gone away from my parents control… and when she chose to become a young mother to Pearce I watched her lead a new path of motherhood. Even when her and Jay became engaged the first time I cheered her on and followed as Proud Auntie Claudia.
Wherever the journey takes you I am always with you:
And during that year she stood beside me as my Maid of Honor on my wedding day and thru letters as I prepared to finish my undergraduate degree at University of Idaho.
A note stuck in a book she gave me, had an apology regarding an adventure we had had when I was a week away from leaving the Pacific Northwest for Tucson and I had drove from Potlatch ID to Issaquah WA roundtrip with her & my nephew, a screaming kicking toddler behind me in his car seat. And she had kept saying, “He doesn’t like to ride in cars but we are going on a journey together,” and I would stop every few hours beside the road to get out and scream myself.
Over the fifteen years that I lived far away, and at countless airports & shuttle drop offs we would say it, wherever the journey takes you I am always with you, I love you.
Thousands of phone calls while we discussed life choices, her break up with Jay, new adventures, hurt feelings or other life stuff about her needs as a single mom with a sweet young boy to raise. When life pushed back on her as a young momma she pursued her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and finished with honors. And even her long distance Master’s of Psychology coursework she pushed on with stellar grades. Because leading with good grades as single mom she knew would help her later…
And when Jay and she began to date again and traveled to Maui the first time with both of their kids, Pearce & Olivia, for a blended family-like adventure, she and I shared a private laugh about her new journey and all of its opportunities from the past that could now be realized.
In August of 2010, while I was working at a US Census Office in California I remember a funny unprofessional moment when I jumped up and shouted, “My sister is engaged!” After I had received a camera phone picture of her new ring and I had immediately went outside to call her and share her joy. She was so happy to be reunited with Jay, the love of her life.
At her wedding reception when my parents couldn’t make it to her big celebration once again I whispered our phrase. AND in her final days in the hospital, I repeated it often to encourage her path. Wherever the journey takes you I am always with you.
The third message of her lifetime…
Don’t Wait:
From my journals & saved letters I found comforting notes about when my marriage was falling apart, again she lead and encouraged me not to wait and waste my spirit in a destructive life. As I struggled with the choice to relocate from Arizona to California in 2002 she again sent gentle loving lil’ sis’ reminders to not wait and not know, but go forth and try something new that she would always be with me in my choices in my journey. And last August as I debated the merits of staying in Orange County CA versus moving to Seattle, she asked me to come home and be a more regular part of her new family…
And in her final breathy words before she was intubated and rushed to ICU she whispered to Jay and me, don’t wait…
And again, she lead and I followed and wherever the journey took her I supported her as her big sis’ and she taught me so many beautiful bittersweet lessons that I will always treasure.
And throughout my memories there are times where she would grab my hand or I would grab hers and we would go out and do stupid things like sing Karaoke at the Oak Rail in town here. Or last fall, when she was unable to walk I Wii Zumba’d for her in her living room and we laughed and laughed about our silliness.
Remember it is okay to lead or follow, and wherever the journey takes you I am always with you, so don’t wait for this wonderful life, go have fun now, and live a full joyous life like my lil’ sis.
Thank you.
Hi! I’m Big’ Sis’, Claudia,
Thank you for coming today to celebrate the life of my lil’ sis’, Lisa.
The past month as I’ve considered what stories I would share about us, I tried to remember when we started calling each other, big and lil’, but from the piles of photos, diaries, journals, yearbook notations and assorted “love” notes we wrote each other it seems that is how it always was… And always will be. My lil’ sis died and I am blessed to have known her from the moment she came into my life and until her last breath.
As I began to notify friends and family about her death, interesting stories and sweet reflections flooded my overwhelmed brain and I began to make a lot of lists of information.
And for a few days, I pondered, what would Lisa’s favorite Muppet, Miss Piggy say about Lisa? And I found this quote, “There is no one on the planet to compare with moi.” And I think that holds true for Lisa also, there is no one else on the planet to compare to her.
Today, I would like us all to step back in time with me and follow some of the highlights of the lessons my Lil’ Sis taught me and all of us so very clearly.
Lead or Follow:
My cousin, Gwen, reminded me that as children I was her protector and bodyguard at family gatherings… Lisa wasn’t always a Public Talker, I know, you all are surprised… But Lisa taught me to LEAD. I would take her hand as little girls, answer questions for her, even in Casselton Elementary School I remember her first week of kindergarten I was often called out of class to speak with a teacher to see what Lisa needed…Her and I would go explore and she would FOLLOW.
At some point as young girls, she and I began the lifelong ongoing switch of Leading and Following, I think it might have first happened when we were learning to dance in the living room watching American Bandstand or dancing to mom’s records on the phonograph. I got tired of being the tomboy and told her to lead.
My girlfriend from childhood, Amy, reminded that when lil’ sis and I moved from North Dakota to Wenatchee in 1982 she was jealous of the close bond Lisa and I shared. We appeared to be as cute and naturally beautiful as the popular Laura and Mary on the Little House and the Prairie show. And Amy had wished her and her sister could be as close of friends.
And in middle school and high school I began to follow, I wasn’t the popular kid, I was the nerdy singing dork and Lisa was the beauty princess and model type and as a note I found details she taught me how to bust a move. I followed her lead; she taught me how to put on makeup and how to wear brighter colors that suited my paler skin tone and what shoes to wear with what outfits.
She sometimes pushed me. If I wouldn’t lead, after three years at a different school in Lynden and returning to Wenatchee High, I was pretty lonely, and Lisa instigated my date for my senior prom. When Lisa and Jay meet the following year, I watched her start a new way of leading and following. And I learned early on sometimes Leading and Following means being crafty and being willing to jump onto new paths and push forward to create new opportunities.
When I was enrolled at Wenatchee Valley College, I was determined to leave the family nest so I encouraged her also to get better grades to get into college. But she was so very popular and somehow she taught herself how to sneak around my mom to go out on unapproved dates or attend unapproved parties. You might be surprised to know that although she was Royal Court Candidate for the world renowned Apple Blossom Festival she almost didn’t graduate Wenatchee High School due to attendance issues.
Another lesson she taught me was…
Wherever the journey takes you I am always with you:
So digging thru my memory boxes, another note reminded me of us walking along the railroad tracks searching for a pot of gold as little girls exploring the prairie and farmlands in ND. Except for the twenty three months before she was born and a couple of years in the Davenport ND house, I had always shared a bedroom with her and her stuff. Initially, my memory had thought this phrase began the sad day Lisa and my dad, left me alone in my first apartment in Pullman. I was so terrified of being nineteen and living alone, but I was determined to make it work. But my diary details me waving at them leaving and Lisa yelling out the car window, wherever the journey takes you, I am always with you.
…. And as I struggled to find a way to finance college and stay gone away from my parents control… and when she chose to become a young mother to Pearce I watched her lead a new path of motherhood. Even when her and Jay became engaged the first time I cheered her on and followed as Proud Auntie Claudia.
Wherever the journey takes you I am always with you:
And during that year she stood beside me as my Maid of Honor on my wedding day and thru letters as I prepared to finish my undergraduate degree at University of Idaho.
A note stuck in a book she gave me, had an apology regarding an adventure we had had when I was a week away from leaving the Pacific Northwest for Tucson and I had drove from Potlatch ID to Issaquah WA roundtrip with her & my nephew, a screaming kicking toddler behind me in his car seat. And she had kept saying, “He doesn’t like to ride in cars but we are going on a journey together,” and I would stop every few hours beside the road to get out and scream myself.
Over the fifteen years that I lived far away, and at countless airports & shuttle drop offs we would say it, wherever the journey takes you I am always with you, I love you.
Thousands of phone calls while we discussed life choices, her break up with Jay, new adventures, hurt feelings or other life stuff about her needs as a single mom with a sweet young boy to raise. When life pushed back on her as a young momma she pursued her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and finished with honors. And even her long distance Master’s of Psychology coursework she pushed on with stellar grades. Because leading with good grades as single mom she knew would help her later…
And when Jay and she began to date again and traveled to Maui the first time with both of their kids, Pearce & Olivia, for a blended family-like adventure, she and I shared a private laugh about her new journey and all of its opportunities from the past that could now be realized.
In August of 2010, while I was working at a US Census Office in California I remember a funny unprofessional moment when I jumped up and shouted, “My sister is engaged!” After I had received a camera phone picture of her new ring and I had immediately went outside to call her and share her joy. She was so happy to be reunited with Jay, the love of her life.
At her wedding reception when my parents couldn’t make it to her big celebration once again I whispered our phrase. AND in her final days in the hospital, I repeated it often to encourage her path. Wherever the journey takes you I am always with you.
The third message of her lifetime…
Don’t Wait:
From my journals & saved letters I found comforting notes about when my marriage was falling apart, again she lead and encouraged me not to wait and waste my spirit in a destructive life. As I struggled with the choice to relocate from Arizona to California in 2002 she again sent gentle loving lil’ sis’ reminders to not wait and not know, but go forth and try something new that she would always be with me in my choices in my journey. And last August as I debated the merits of staying in Orange County CA versus moving to Seattle, she asked me to come home and be a more regular part of her new family…
And in her final breathy words before she was intubated and rushed to ICU she whispered to Jay and me, don’t wait…
And again, she lead and I followed and wherever the journey took her I supported her as her big sis’ and she taught me so many beautiful bittersweet lessons that I will always treasure.
And throughout my memories there are times where she would grab my hand or I would grab hers and we would go out and do stupid things like sing Karaoke at the Oak Rail in town here. Or last fall, when she was unable to walk I Wii Zumba’d for her in her living room and we laughed and laughed about our silliness.
Remember it is okay to lead or follow, and wherever the journey takes you I am always with you, so don’t wait for this wonderful life, go have fun now, and live a full joyous life like my lil’ sis.
Thank you.
I also sang a song, Bridge Over Troubled Water, by Paul Simon; I am grateful the angels heard my prayers and my singing was the best of my recent days...
Of course you know, I love it - it's divine, simply divine!!
ReplyDeleteLuv ya,
Laurie