Grief and Joy

I have been dealing with grief.  The "why's", "what's" and "how come's"...  And watch out world, I am angry that three lives were blown away...

Happy trails to you, until we meet again.
Some trails are happy ones,
Others are blue.
It's the way you ride the trail that counts,
Here's a happy one for you.
~Dale Evans

Someone I knew, not very long, but long enough, died.  And the fact he is dead is not what bothers me the most...it is that he failed to listen and failed to try.  He failed to understand that life is about finding creative solutions.  He failed to celebrate tiny steps of progress.  But instead, he gave up on life.

On a recent October evening of  "Potluck and Games" at a friend's home -
he contemplated his next move -

Later that evening - I played with my friend's dog, tug-a-war - we all shared many laughs.

In early November, I talked to him in the morning of his last day.  He sounded fine, in fact his concerns about a pending divorce and child custody issue sounded like the typical complaint list I have heard from many other friends who have struggled with life not going as planned, but making new plans to adjust.

I didn't hear from him again.  And two weeks later, the horrifying news came to my eyes via the internet.  Dead.  Murder, murder and suicide.  I am still shocked, looking at these pictures, remembering our conversations, and knowing nothing, I said or did to offer guidance, to recommend ways to create joy will ever bring him and his family back. 

Another friend, last week confronted me with the bitter truth.  My grief also means nothing if I stop living and only keep grieving.  I must let go and live and create joy again and again.  One person's choice to take a gun and snuff out three lives is not a reflection on me, only a constant agonizing reminder of the randomness of violent crime on our planet. 

I choose to celebrate the good times,  I choose to live and share my life with other spirits who are willing to struggle and create joy every day. 

~Rest In Peace ~ Randy, Madison, and Theresa ~

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
~Dr. Seuss